No problem, I thought. It was probably just a gasket ring that needed to be replaced. No need to panic, I told Laura. "This will be an easy, inexpensive fix."
Famous last words....
Day 1.... Saturday afternoon (First trip to Home Depot) So far, so good...Pick up a new wax ring replacement kit ($9.95) drive home and remove old toilet. Uh, oh.... the sub-floor is rotted. The laminate tile all needs to be pulled up. Can we find a contractor who can get in here fast (five days before Thanksgiving)?
Day 4: subcontactor arrives, replaces portion of floor ($200) so far, so good..
Day 6 (Thanksgiving Day)
See the photo to the right? Yup, we decided to go all out and pull out the ugly sink, too...
See the photo to the right? Yup, we decided to go all out and pull out the ugly sink, too...
Day 7: (Day after Thanksgiving) we remove all tiles from wall and begin scraping wallpaper...Dust is everywhere, cats are coughing....Randy is feeling major stress. Debris accumulates in backyard. We're exhausted, especially since we did our annual "Black Friday" shopping at 4 a.m., but hey, we found a 
really good deal on a new sink, vanity and faucet at Lowe's. We also picked up a new medicine cabinet and new, state of the art toliet with all the fixings. We also purchase tile, grout, mortar, floor padding and assorted plumbing pieces...today's expenses? $765
really good deal on a new sink, vanity and faucet at Lowe's. We also picked up a new medicine cabinet and new, state of the art toliet with all the fixings. We also purchase tile, grout, mortar, floor padding and assorted plumbing pieces...today's expenses? $765Day 8 (Saturday) Randy gets up bright and early to meet neighbor with a pick-up truck. They take old tiles, sink, toilet and loads of other crap to town dump. Matt finishes scraping wall while Laura relaxes with a hot cup of coffee..
Our house is a disaster zone....the dust is everywhere! The shop vac is in the kitchen. The tub is a repository of tools and bottles of caulk. Laura gets herself prettied up and unloads the tile cutter. The noise is shrill, like a Vietnamese women screaming at her dog on a humid summer night. Randy opens a bottle of Chivas....Tim is nowhere to be found. The wallpaper is almost al
l off, but we decide to get the flooring in first. The old light fixture (isn't is pretty?) will remain for now so that we can continue working at night and drinking heavily during the day...
l off, but we decide to get the flooring in first. The old light fixture (isn't is pretty?) will remain for now so that we can continue working at night and drinking heavily during the day...Laura says her back is killing her. Matt says he is hungry. Tim is pulled over by the police (more about that later) and Randy is in the backyard with some kerosene and matches.
There is the distinctive smell of desperation in the air and the looming questions remains: Will our Christmas guests be able to crap in our new house without soling the carpet?Laura becomes the true champion of this project. Working against the clock and with an aging tile cutter blade and the body of a 49-year-old, (oops, sorry, honey; but that's less than 10 years away now) she makes incredible progress. The new floor is shaping up. Everything else, including our bank accounts and relationships, are falling apart.
Day 9: (Sunday) Trips No. 4, No. 5 and No. 6 to Home Depot. We pickup new laminate sheets for bottom walls and (who knew moulding is so friggin' expensive?) and new moulding, plus a basin wrench (a tool that Randy says you "absolutely must have" in order to put in a new sink) We never quite figured out how to use the basin wrench, but there's no way we can get to the sink today, anyway...it is now time for the toilet!! (Total costs today: $379.87)To our blathering delight, at approximately 4:58 p.m., some nine days after t
he story began our new toilet is working!!! This means that our bedroom will once again be our sanctuary where we can lock the door without forcing the kids to go outside in the middle of the night for a pee. Remind me sometime to tell you what Tim likes to do with Poland Spring bottles.........
he story began our new toilet is working!!! This means that our bedroom will once again be our sanctuary where we can lock the door without forcing the kids to go outside in the middle of the night for a pee. Remind me sometime to tell you what Tim likes to do with Poland Spring bottles.........To all you do-it-your-selfers out there, one sage piece of advice: never underestimate the beauty of buying at least two (2) new wax ring replacement kits just in case something should happen to go wrong after Home Depot closes.
In PART TWO of this series we will discuss in detail the strains that installing a new bathroom light can have on even the best of marriages. We will alo examine crooked medicine cabinets, the beauty of drywall screws and how letting your wife flirt with a contractor will save you lots of moulding installation headaches.
