Charge It:

From the August 4, 2005 Courier

Bill Clinton’s new book: $29.95

An autographed copy of John Kerry’s campaign sign: $350.

The look on Karl Rove’s face when he is fired? Priceless.

There are some things that money can’t buy.

For everything else, there’s MasterCard.

No, that’s not a real commercial, but it could be, especially when you consider that Maine Democrats are now seeking to raise money by promoting a new, low-interest rate MasterCard.

Although it seems more bizarre the longer you think about it, Democratic activists throughout Maine don’t seem to flinch when asked how they could get behind a program that urges increasing personal debt in order to fund the campaigns of those who claim to be the champions of the impoverished.

Republicans, by the way, don’t need a credit-card program. The GOP, in fact, would tell you to save your money for a rainy day and advise you not to use your credit cards.

And members of the Green Party don’t need credit cards. There’s plenty of seaweed on the beach that would make for a tasty stew if you want to go out for dinner with that special someone.

Okay, so it’s pretty easy to poke fun at this program, but it is a disturbing concept. As Americans’ personal debt numbers continue to skyrocket, the party of the working class says you can help yourself by applying for yet another handy hunk of plastic with a magnetic strip.

The GOP, according to July reports from the Federal Elections Commission, has roughly $36 million on hand. The Democrats have raised less than a quarter of that during the same time period.

I guess it’s a no-brainer for someone like Pat Colwell, chair of the Maine Democratic Party, to label GOP donors as “corporate fat cats, but Pat ought to look a little deeper when pondering how his party can get back on track.

And here’s a secret for all you Democrats out there: credit card companies, whether “progressive” or not, all function to make money . . . lots of money.

But the news just gets more bizarre. Take, for example, this week’s revelation from the Associated Press that Jimi Hendrix claimed he was gay in order to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

The information was apparently contained in Jimi’s military medical records and was revealed for the first time in Charles R. Cross' new biography “Room Full of Mirrors.”

Since he “faked” being gay — long before Mr. Clinton’s infamous “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy was put into place — Hendrix was discharged from the 101st Airborne in 1962.

From there, Hendrix became a musical legend. Even now, years after his untimely death, Hendrix is often mistakenly credited with penning the song that inspired this column’s name, All Along the Watchtower.

As a reminder, the song was written by John Wesley Hardin and later released nationally by Bob Dylan long before Jimi got his hands on it.

Although the song was later covered by many other musicians — from Michelle Shocked to U2 — Jimi’s version is still the one that gets us white, middle-aged guys all worked up as we crank the stereos in our SUVs whenever it’s played on “classic rock” radio stations.

Hendrix, even for those of us too young to remember his heyday, was certainly the least gay person to ever crawl the planet. But I doubt it would have mattered to his fans. The only people who would have cared would be guys like Karl Rove, Michael Heath and George, Jr.

There’s no reason to get excited, fellas. Jimi’s no longer a threat and he’s no longer wielding a guitar or a MasterCard. Excuse me, while I kiss this guy . . .

And then, there is the sad news.

If Darth Vader were a real person, I suspect he would have said there was “a disturbance in the force” last week.

After more than a decade of service, veteran Biddeford City Councilor Raymond Cote told the Courier last week he would not be seeking another term on the city council.

Speaking just for me, Mr. Cote will be a sorely missed presence on the ever-entertaining city council. For the record, Mr. Cote (the prefix serves as a symbol of my undying respect for this man) never found himself on the biting end of my pen.

The reasoning behind that is not complicated.

Mr. Cote, as one of Clint Eastwood’s characters once said, was the “one constant in an ever-changing universe.”

Whenever his name appeared on the ballot, Mr. Cote would lead the pack with number of votes received. Although I was not around when “Babe” Dutremble was the mayor, it is abundantly clear to me why Mr. Cote was consistently so popular with the city’s voters.

He remains today, a straight-shooting, no-nonsense guy. His wiry frame and genuine smile belie a life lived on simple terms during extraordinary circumstances. A member of this country’s so-called greatest generation, Cote, 79, lied about his age so he could enlist in the Navy and serve his country during WWII.

The love of his life, his wife, Rena, passed away in May 2003. “I kept going after that,” he told me. “It gave me something to do at night. But now, I want to have a little time to myself. I just think it’s time to move on.”

In the days following the Sept. 2001 terrorist attacks on America, Ray and Rena Cote quickly organized the Biddeford-Saco Patriots’ Parade. He seemed never to tire, and was always willing to give more to his hometown.

If I can ever be half the man Raymond Cote is today, I will be more successful than my wildest expectations. His deft sense of humor, his unassuming wisdom and that famous smile served the city well for many years. I wish him the best of luck during his well-deserved retirement from public life.